Ray Landry of West Hartford finally got the daughter he always wanted, even though she arrived at 38 years old via the DNA database of 23andMe.
“I always wanted a daughter, but figured it wasn’t meant to be. … I’m so thrilled and excited,” said Landry, who has four adult sons. “I think she’s been through a lot in life and I wished I was there for her.”
Landry, a realtor with Luxe Realty was found in late June through a DNA match sought by Stephanie Cyr, the daughter he never knew he had.
Cyr grew up in Bristol with her mom and her mom’s husband, who it was presumed was her biological father.
They do not want to be identified.
He was a great dad, she said, but she began to question the genetics at an early age, joking she was a “milk carton baby” and those doubts only increased as she got older.
“Me and my father when I was little had talks about it, He said it wouldn’t matter because I’d always be his little girl,” she said.
While she bore a resemblance to mom, none of her features looked like her dad’s. Cyr had brown eyes and her parents had blue eyes. She said their teeth weren’t the same as hers or their noses. While Cyr had long legs both her parents had “short, stubby legs,” she said.
Even their basic personalities were different.
Cyr said she was close to her dad at times, but she never truly felt, “connected.”
“I’ve always questioned my whole life whether the father who raised me was really my father,” Cyr said. “I knew deep down it wasn’t right.”
As she got older, Cyr said she realized her birthdate of Oct. 11, 1984 didn’t match up with her mother’s story that she was conceived on Valentine’s Day. That only added up to eight months and she knew she wasn’t premature.
But meeting Ray Landry for the first time in early July, seeing their uncanny resemblance and quickly seeing the same “goofy” personalities has been a game-changer in Cyr’s life.
”I don’t know how other people feel in that situation, but I’ve always wanted to be able to relate to someone in that way,” Cyr said. “This was a great weight taken off my shoulders.”
She calls Landry dad as she still lovingly calls the man who raised her.
“I got two daddies,” Cyr said.
No disputing the science
The genetic discovery was freeing for Cyr, but the journey was long with a lot of tears, hurt for the family and revelations of personal encounters that may have forever gone unsaid.
Cyr’s journey into getting to the truth began in 2022. The dad who raised her had a son by a woman who was not Cyr’s mother. The son and father had been confirmed in a DNA match through the court.
Cyr, who had expressed her skepticism to the family all along, asked the person she thought was her “half brother” to take a DNA test along with her.
The result was that it was highly unlikely he and Cyr were related, meaning they didn’t share the same biological father.
A few days later, Cyr turned to 23andMe and when the test came back it showed Ray Landry was her father.
She approached her mom about the DNA result and mom said, “You’re crazy. Your father is your father.”
But there was no disputing the science, as Cyr explained.
Landry was in the database because he had searched for a half-sister he knew existed, but whom he still hasn’t located.
When pressed, Cyr’s mom realized what had happened, Cyr said.
Cyr said her mom was apologetic and she believes hadn’t figured it out till then.
As it turns out, her mom had been dating the father Cyr grew up with and they broke up, Cyr said. The mother then dated Landry — she was 20, he was 17 — but got back together with the man who would raise Cyr.
The mother had apparently become pregnant soon before the reconciliation.
“They’ve been very understanding,” Cyr said of her parents. “Mom said she didn’t know. They are happy to see I no longer feel lost .”
Landry said he knew she was pregnant and asked if he could be the father, but Cyr’s mother gave an emphatic, “No.”
“I had a funny feeling,” Landry said in hindsight. “Deep down inside I was wondering.”
Cyr got the results June 30 that Ray Landry was her father and they shared 50% of their genetics. The results were said to be 99% accurate.
“That’s basically when my whole life got flipped upside down,” she said. “It’s like everything you grew up with was kind of a lie. You’re half excited, half sad because now you’re identity isn’t what you are.”
When Cyr found Landry, she was a divorced single mom of daughter Sophia Engro, 9, and living in East Greenwich, Rhode Island.
She was so anxious and excited when Landry called her after seeing the match on his 23andMe App that she drove to West Hartford that day.
They visited for hours, got caught up on their lives and the next day connected with Landry’s four sons for a call on What’s APP.
“When he opened the door I was like, ‘Oh my God,” she said referring to the uncanny resemblance. “I don’t know how other people feel in that situation, but I’ve always wanted to be able to relate to someone in that way. “
Landry said it was “amazing” to meet his daughter.
“I think she’s wonderful. I’m proud of her. She’s very pretty, smart, independent, strong,” Landry said. “She looks so much like me. I was totally shocked.” Cyr, in the human resource field, is a graduate student and in the National Guard.
Landry said he didn’t get a chance to raise Cyr, but “that’s OK,” and he has great respect for the dad who, “brought her up. “
“Everything worked out,” he said.
Ray Landry’s wife welcomed his new found daughter with open arms. They have an adult son together and he also has a three adult sons from a previous marriage.
“To me it’s been very validating and it’s fixed me,” Cyr said. “I don’t feel trapped anymore. I know who I am and I’m genuinely happy.”
Cyr and her daughter, who have since moved to West Hartford to be closer to the family, were at the Landry home for Christmas and in a dad-like move Ray Landry fixed a drain for her recently. The two are hoping to make lots of memories.
While Landry didn’t locate his half-sister yes, he also discovered through 23andMe that his brother had a son they didn’t know about. They now have a good relationship, Landry said.
Cyr has this advice for people: ” First and foremost, always trust your intuition. That’s what drove me to get an answer.”
