The Eagles signed Dicker the Kicker in case Jake Elliott can’t go Sunday:

Howie Roseman signing a guy who knows what it’s like to ruin Kyler Murray’s day. On the same weekend of the Red River Showdown. Chess, not checkers:

Listen, I believe in Dicker the Kicker. One, because I might have to. Two, because the pressure of kicking at Texas has to be somewhat similar to kicking in Philly. But if it doesn’t go well on Sunday, there are some dads that will be welcoming Dicker the Kicker back to Philly with their buck knives:

So instead of Lorena Bobbitt’ing this kid, how about Jake Elliott keeps mixing up those pill cocktails like he did Sunday? Numb that leg and lets stay undefeated: