Former POW Shoshana Johnson of El Paso featured in PBS series on military veterans

American Veteran

Eighteen years since being a prisoner of war in Iraq, Shoshana Johnson is more open about her former life in the military, family sacrifices, therapy and how she has endured.

At the same time, some things have not changed.

Johnson still lives in El Paso, a block or two from her immediate family — an important support system with many strong women of Panamanian descent. And except for being held captive for 22 days in Iraq, she said she wouldn't change much about her service to the United States.

"I wanted to go straight out of high school. My parents discouraged it because we're immigrants; we're from Panama," she said. "My parents were like, 'We didn't come to the U.S. for you to stop at high school. You need to go to college. We don't mind you going into the military but after college. Be an officer.' "

The proud veteran, who entered the U.S. Army at 25 with some college experience, will be featured in a four-part PBS series, "American Veteran," from 10 to 11 p.m. Mountain Time on Tuesdays from Oct. 26 to Nov. 16. She also is one of seven veterans whose stories are told in an American Veteran podcast, which launched Tuesday, Oct. 19, across all major podcast platforms, including Apple Podcasts and Spotify. 

"I loved being in the military," said Johnson, whose father had a long military career. "I loved having a highly shined boot, a starched uniform, wearing it with pride."

Johnson, who was visiting family in South Carolina when she spoke with the El Paso Times via phone, said she did the interview for the series three years ago, so she doesn't remember exactly what she was asked.

"But I'm always willing to share my experience in a way to make nonveterans understand what we do. And, hopefully, they can understand it's not just in wartime but during supposed peacetimes that we are separated from our families and our jobs are dangerous. There's always stories about training accidents that happen.

"And coming home is not easy. And it doesn't just affect the veteran; it affects their families, too," she said.

Johnson was part of the 507th Maintenance Company from Fort Bliss that was ambushed on March 23, 2003, in Nasiriyah, Iraq.

Her convoy came under heavy attack from Fedayeen paramilitaries and Iraqi soldiers after the unit made a wrong turn into an enemy urban stronghold.

Her daughter, Janelle, was 2 years old when the single mother was taken prisoner along with others in her unit during Operation Iraqi Freedom. The then-food service specialist was shot in her left ankle and right calf, through her Achilles tendon. Eleven of her fellow soldiers were killed.

The POWs were rescued by Marines on April 13, 2003, in Samarra, Iraq. In addition to the five 507th POWs, the Marines also rescued two U.S. helicopter pilots who were being held by the Iraqis in the same facility.

More: Ambush still haunts former Iraq War POW Shoshana Johnson

Johnson said she and her daughter did years of therapy after she was freed and came back to the United States.

"She did therapy; I had my own therapy and then we did a family therapy. It was me and her for a long time. My parents and my sister are always there for support, but she has to deal with my issues of PTSD," she said.

Johnson said early on her mother told her that Janelle could sense that she was not all right. 

"I missed her first birthday, first steps, first words. And she knew that I wasn't always around. But she started to spot things, like crying. When I first came home, I would have these depressed feelings and I would close myself up and I wouldn't talk," she said. "Or I would have my little mood swings.

"So, going to therapy helped her understand that it had nothing to do with her," she said.

Johnson says 17 years of therapy helped her become more open and honest about her ordeal in Iraq.

"Seventeen years of serious therapy has made me, I think, more relaxed about my experience," she said. "I think I was much more guarded. I realize now that there's no really big cure.

"It's just learning how to deal with the memories and the feelings of what happened. And I realized that I probably would never be done with therapy. I always thought, 'Oh, in a couple of years, I'll be done and it will be over' — and that would be my downfall."

On that fateful day, Johnson said, she felt something was wrong.

"We had been on the road. We were so far behind and I felt something was wrong. We had passed some Marines and I was also a specialist, E-4, and a cook. I couldn't stop the convoy with, 'I feel something wrong; we need to stop.' "

Johnson said her biggest struggle has been the guilt that she felt for surviving what happened. She was close to many in her unit, especially Pfc. Lori Piestewa, who was killed when her vehicle crashed during the 2003 ambush.

"I lived and others died and I cannot for the life of me understand why," she said. "They were great people and that is one of the main issues that I'll always deal with. I knew them, especially in that confined way of deployment."

In those days of captivity, Johnson said, she often prayed that she would be able to see her daughter grow up. But at other times, she prayed that if she was killed, that it would happen quickly.

"I relied heavily on my faith. It carried me through my darkest days and is still with me today," she said.

Johnson said she has tried to work through her trauma, hoping that talking to military leaders about what happened to her might lead to changes that would benefit others and be the reason that she made it back.

"When we returned, there were a couple of sergeant majors in the military who had frank talks about some of our experiences so they can make changes," she said. "And some implemented certain things, and that made me feel better and maybe it helped other soldiers, also. That gave me a sense of purpose."

Johnson said she's also met people who said they were inspired by her story and went into medical fields because they wanted to help people.

Johnson said she feels blessed to come from a big and close-knit family. Her daughter is now at the University of Texas at Permian Basin in Odessa.

Now, Johnson is looking at what the next stage of her life will be.

For sure, she said, she wants to travel. 

"Last month I went to Hawaii for the first time," she said. "I need to travel the world and see it all. I want to go to Scotland, God willing, next year — if COVID clears up. And I really want to go the Vatican to hear a Mass by the pope."

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María Cortés González may be reached at 915-546-6150; mcortes@elpasotimes.com; @EPTMaria on Twitter.