Bill Kirby: Why would someone want to hire my 92-year-old dad?

" Doing nothing is itself a choice."

– William A. Galston

My father's 92. These days he has trouble walking and naps a lot, but will stay awake for Braves baseball and "Andy Griffith" reruns.

He's been retired for decades … but suddenly, he's getting e-mails inviting him to apply for jobs near his home.

My mother showed me a couple.

"I don't understand this," she said. "How did they get his name?"

I told her I suspect the Internet is not as smart as it thinks it is.

One e-mail put it this way:

"We wanted to let you know that we have just posted an open position within the last day for a job in your area. Based on your profile and previous searches on our site, it appears that you may be a great fit! Please review this opportunity by clicking below."

One of the jobs was working at a Kroger grocery. Another was working for the Social Security Administration. The pay range was between $10 and $15 an hour.

The winner looked to be at a Clorox site maybe 12 miles away and was in the $19- to $29-an-hour range.

Of course, you and I know what this is about.

Businesses need bodies, and everybody seems to be hiring.

They just need better lists.

BACK TO SCHOOL: The kids are heading back to class and AAA offers seven ways to keep them safer as you drive.

1. Slow down. Speed limits in school zones are reduced for a reason. A pedestrian struck by a vehicle traveling 25 mph is nearly two-thirds less likely to be killed.

2. Eliminate distractions. Children often cross the road unexpectedly and may emerge suddenly between two parked cars.

3. Reverse responsibly. Every vehicle has blind spots. Check for children and pedestrians on the sidewalk, driveway and around your vehicle before slowly backing up.

4. Talk to your teen. Car crashes are the leading cause of death for teens in the United States

5. Come to a complete stop. Research shows that more than one-third of drivers roll through stop signs in school zones or neighborhoods.

6. Watch for bicycles. Children on bicycles are often inexperienced, unsteady and unpredictable. 

7. Look for AAA School Safety Patrollers. Nationwide, more than 679,000 AAA School Safety Patrollers stand guard at 35,000 schools. When you see one, a school zone is likely nearby.

TODAY'S JOKE: The phone rang at the parish hall and Father O'Malley answered.

"Hello, is this Father O'Malley?" a voice asked.

"It is!" the priest said loudly.

"This is the IRS, can you help us?"

"I can!"

"Do you know a Ted Holahan?"

"I do!"

"Is he a member of your congregation?"

"He is!"

"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"

"He will!"